Random Panel Quotes
"If LotRs was written now, there would have to be one
good troll or orc who'd
seen the light and who read poetry or
something." -- Terry Pratchett
"I wave my testicles at your 747." -- Simon R
"I like fat, happy Goths." -- Terry
"When you're really cool, all your verbs are
copulative." -- Simon R Green
Terry's T-shirt on the first day had 4 lines. The first
was in really big
type, and it said "Tolkien is dead". Below that,
in smaller type, it said "JK
Rowling said no". Below that, in yet
smaller type, it said, "Phillip Pullman
couldn't make it". And
finally, in really small type, it said "Hi, I'm
If you give massive detail for a room and it's being
-- the literary genre, it must be symbolism
mystery genre, it must contain clues
-- the fantasy genre, it must
be an attempt to construct a world
This is why cross-overs are so
hard -- reader expectations are so different
for the same bit of
"A novel is a structure on which you can hang the
maximum amount of cool
stuff." -- paraphrase of a Steven Brust
"Explanations are just an opportunity to get into an
argument with the reader.
Tell them what it does, not how it does
it." -- another Brust paraphrase
Essay question: Which characters in the Buffyverse
would write fanfic? Which
would include a Mary Sue?
"I'm an occasional SF writer and experienced guerilla
panelist." -- Terry Pratchett
"Will you kill yourself if this panel turns humorous?"
-- Esther Friesner
"Only if it becomes dramatically necessary." --
"He was Jack the Ripper. He belonged to the world." --
"And they brought back the Care Bears, for which I
blame the gods." -- Esther
"They [future historians] are going to think that we're
incredible over sexed.
And I'm fine with that." -- John
"Frisbees will be considered prayer wheels." --
<speaking in a deep voice> "And who was the
god Wham-O?" Craig Shaw Gardner
"How many authors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Never mind that, let
me tell you about *my* lightbulb..." -- Craig
"A Time Traveler's Epitaph: Grandpa shot first."
"What does 'Thud' have going for it as a title?" --
"Well, it's short. <slight pause> Plus it has
the words "by Terry Pratchett"
underneath it." -- Terry
"There's a wizard in Going Postal whose title was
taking from a piece of Spam.
The spammer may sue me." -- Terry
Pratchett, on the benefits of those bits of spam that
From Terry's GoH speech:
It should be completely impossible to pour nuclear
waste down the lavatory.
If you're a writer and you don't have a work in
progress, then you're not a
writer at all. You're a
When you work on a newspaper, life doesn't appear to be
all that real.
Where do you get your ides from? You steal
Quote from an upcoming Discworld book, attributed to
Vimes: The only sound
that animals make in a city is
First lines from an upcoming book called Thud. "Thud.
That's the sound he made
when he hit the ground."
You can't imagine a condom machine in Middle
<rather estrogen soaked laugh>
Well, OK, maybe you
You're falling into the error that my life is under any
kind of control.
I find it hard to write weak women. Scratch a Pratchett
heroine, and you'll
T-shirts, bumper stickers, and pins. Oh, my!
English doesn't borrow from other languages. English
follows other languages
down dark alleys, knocks them over the
head, and goes through their pockets
<in the Buffy font> If I wanted your opinion, I'd
read it in your entrails.
Duct tape. It's not just for the bedroom
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be
Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts
Words cannot express how I feel about you. Stand by for
The email of the species is deadlier than the