Random Panel Quotes

"If LotRs was written now, there would have to be one good troll or orc who'd
seen the light and who read poetry or something." -- Terry Pratchett

"I wave my testicles at your 747." -- Simon R Green

"I like fat, happy Goths." -- Terry Pratchett

"When you're really cool, all your verbs are copulative." -- Simon R Green

Terry's T-shirt on the first day had 4 lines. The first was in really big
type, and it said "Tolkien is dead". Below that, in smaller type, it said "JK
Rowling said no". Below that, in yet smaller type, it said, "Phillip Pullman
couldn't make it". And finally, in really small type, it said "Hi, I'm Terry

If you give massive detail for a room and it's being read in:
-- the literary genre, it must be symbolism
-- the mystery genre, it must contain clues
-- the fantasy genre, it must be an attempt to construct a world
This is why cross-overs are so hard -- reader expectations are so different
for the same bit of text.

"A novel is a structure on which you can hang the maximum amount of cool
stuff." -- paraphrase of a Steven Brust quote

"Explanations are just an opportunity to get into an argument with the reader.
Tell them what it does, not how it does it." -- another Brust paraphrase

Essay question: Which characters in the Buffyverse would write fanfic? Which
would include a Mary Sue?

"I'm an occasional SF writer and experienced guerilla panelist." -- Terry Pratchett

"Will you kill yourself if this panel turns humorous?" -- Esther Friesner
"Only if it becomes dramatically necessary." -- Terry Pratchett

"He was Jack the Ripper. He belonged to the world." -- Terry Pratchett

"And they brought back the Care Bears, for which I blame the gods." -- Esther

"They [future historians] are going to think that we're incredible over sexed.
And I'm fine with that." -- John Scalzi

"Frisbees will be considered prayer wheels." -- audience member
<speaking in a deep voice> "And who was the god Wham-O?" Craig Shaw Gardner

"How many authors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Never mind that, let
me tell you about *my* lightbulb..." -- Craig Shaw Gardner

"A Time Traveler's Epitaph: Grandpa shot first."

"What does 'Thud' have going for it as a title?" -- Kathryn Cramer
"Well, it's short. <slight pause> Plus it has the words "by Terry Pratchett"
underneath it." -- Terry Pratchett

"There's a wizard in Going Postal whose title was taking from a piece of Spam.
The spammer may sue me." -- Terry Pratchett, on the benefits of those bits of spam that
string random words together

From Terry's GoH speech:

It should be completely impossible to pour nuclear waste down the lavatory.

If you're a writer and you don't have a work in progress, then you're not a
writer at all. You're a bum.

When you work on a newspaper, life doesn't appear to be all that real.

Where do you get your ides from? You steal them.

Quote from an upcoming Discworld book, attributed to Vimes: The only sound
that animals make in a city is sizzle.

First lines from an upcoming book called Thud. "Thud. That's the sound he made
when he hit the ground."

You can't imagine a condom machine in Middle Earth.
<rather estrogen soaked laugh>
Well, OK, maybe you can.

You're falling into the error that my life is under any kind of control.

I find it hard to write weak women. Scratch a Pratchett heroine, and you'll
get scratched back.

T-shirts, bumper stickers, and pins. Oh, my!

English doesn't borrow from other languages. English follows other languages
down dark alleys, knocks them over the head, and goes through their pockets
for loose grammar.

<in the Buffy font> If I wanted your opinion, I'd read it in your entrails.

Duct tape. It's not just for the bedroom anymore.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control.

Words cannot express how I feel about you. Stand by for gestures.

The email of the species is deadlier than the mail.